Perdita Says

Perdita is a very talkative dog. She is conceited, to be honest, and she is NEVER shy about bombarding Laura (her translator) with what she thinks–about anything. (By the way, she calls Laura ‘Laoorel’ because she says “it sounds better.” and she pronounces it “la-OU-rel.”)

Here are just a few  comments from some stories in Perdita’s first two books. They will make a lot more sense when you read the stories, but these little bits will give you an idea of what Perdita is like.

In her own words!

—-from “Uncle Bookie and the Book of Doom”

Uncle Bookie leaves home“So he ran on into the dark and stormy night. But he never gave up hope because there are plenty of humans to choose from. Plenty! He just had to find a good one. And one who was smart enough to be properly trained!”

“You’ll soon learn that I am a communication masterpiece! A bombaster of words! A talking miracle! An inventor of zappable words galore”

“I am not limited by your little human language. If I want to spectacularize one of your words, I will and the word will be better. More splashful. More zingish”

—–from “A Jolly Game of Cow Panic”

“Would your mother do that, Laoorel?” Perdita asked. “Would she take time from her own escape to help you dodge the bullets?”

“Good grief!” I said. “I hope she never needs to do that!”

—–from “Par Whack and the Thanksgiving Pageant of Doom”

“Adult humans think they know everything and there’s no room left in their heads for anything new, so why would I waste my valuable time transmitting to them? Have you ever heard the saying, ‘You can’t teach an old human a new trick’?” asked Perdita.

Par Whack's Proudest MomentPar always says that one of his proudest moments was when he saw his WANTED picture in the Dahlonegee Post Office for the first time.

Perdita looked at me with her big brown eyes and said, “Dogs do not follow human laws, Laoorel. That is part of our superiority, you know.”

—–From “The Psychologer is IN”

“It’s high voltage, I’m telling you. My brain is not like any other dog’s brain. It is powerful and creative and unlimited. I am one of the wonders of the world, Laoorel.”
—–From “The Psychologer is IN”

“There is no such thing as a psychologer,” I said. “And if there were such a thing, you wouldn’t be one. You are a dog.”

“Obviously, someone like me who studies the odd behavior of humans and is prepared to help them would then be a psychologer.

Perdita Begins the Cure“And that’s what I am!” she said proudly. “A psychologer.”

She thought some more, and then said, “OK, Laoorel, we will begin your cure. This is my transformational interactivated polygonal polyphonic carbonized interpreted galactic cure that will reset your brain circuits. Now, you just . . .”


Perdita is a VERY talkative dog, and she has opinions about almost everything. When you read Perdita’s books, you’ll wonder if YOUR dog thinks the same way. Could it be possible?

Why not?

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