I am, of course, excited about giving YOU a free copy of my new book of Whacknoodle family Christmas stories, and I want to tell you about one of the best parts.

My very adventurous dog-father, Par Whack, thought it would be wonderful to do something nice for the humans in his town–Dahlonegee–to help them celebrate Christmas.

That’s because the people all look so angry at Christmas time, rushing around, frowning, blowing their horns, fighting about parking places (if you can believe it!). So, Par found his dog pals from last year–Uncle Elvis, Woofer, and Whizzer–and they decided to do a Christmas concert at the town’s big Christmas festival.

They knew that their songs, could ONLY cheer up the frazzled humans.

So, the dogs rehearsed and rehearsed. Of course they still had the two Christmas songs they’d learned LAST year, but Par wanted something special and new. So he took one of those human Christmas songs that doesn’t make any sense, and Par decided to improve it!

Wasn’t that noble? He worked and worked and polished his words until they were perfect. Just like Irving Berlin would have done. Or Cole Porter.

But even better!

The song that Par chose to improve is one with a lot of silly “fa la la” stuff in it that doesn’t really make any sense. So Par poeticized an entirely new set of words. He thought and pondered and contemplated and dreamed, and what he came up with is brilliant.

In fact, I think it is destined to become as famous as Mr. Pogo’s wonderful version, “Deck us all with Boston Charlie!”

BUT I think Par’s is EVEN better, if you can believe it, because Par’s version is ALL about food.

Yes! Par knows that humans eat and eat and eat during the holidays, so he thought HIS version would about food, and he KNEW the people would love it.

Here is how it starts:

Fleck the halls with bowls of jello,

Chili, cookies, cake, and burgers too!

We are hungry for marshmellows,

Bacon, sausage, beef, and eggs and stew . . .

Of course, it goes on, in Par’s brilliance. The new words bring so much joy and wonder and freshness to that song.

As you can imagine, the four dogs, who call themselves “The Twelve Dogs of Christmas,” were VERY excited about their concert. They KNEW that when they put Christmas wraths around their necks and leaped onto the stage, the entire town would go wild and the dogs would be stars!

As you know, I often say that we dogs just can’t understand humans.

And that’s how it was at Dahlonegee’s big Christmas festival that night.

Sadly, when the dogs took the stage and launched right into their song, with Uncle Elvis singing the high part and Par doing the interpretive dance, things just did not go very well.

But don’t worry! As you’ll see when you read my magnificent Christmas book for this year which is FREE until Saturday!!), Par and his dog friends turned it into a wonderful night. Maybe they didn’t get to finish their concert, but believe me–they made the MOST of their time on that stage.

In fact, it was a night the town will NEVER forget!

(And neither will you.)