For Happiness at Home, Here is My First Dog Manifesto

Perdita Whacknoodle, dog poet and dog writerToo many humans just don’t understand their place in the world. Oddly, they feel superior to dogs–something that is clearly not supported by the observable facts.

These misguided humans do not understand the master/helper situation as it really exists, and a shockingly large number of humans are mistaken about their proper role.

In case there is any confusion, let me clear it up right now. Humans exist to serve dogs. That is why they fill our bowls and provide comfortable beds for us. It’s why they drive us around in cars so we can stick our heads out the window.

You would THINK that would be obvious, wouldn’t you?

Of course, it’s not as if we dogs can just sit back and be waited on because WE have duties, too, in this complicated dog-human relationship. Oh, yes. We have to uphold our end of the great bargain for domestic tranquility to ensue.

This concept should not be too hard to grasp, but many humans don’t catch on very fast. I’m sorry to say.

So, I have taken the initiative to set forth very simple and direct principles for a good dog-human relationship. I call it, of course, “The Dog Manifesto.”  I simply transmitted it via my thought-particles, into my translator’s somewhat limited head. I kept the power low to avoid a brain explosion–that’s how much I care. I know that if I blasted my thoughts at full power, my translator’s head couldn’t take the wattage.

So I suggest you print this important document, read it to your dog and discuss it. Then put it into action.

Your life will be enriched when you humans behave as nature intended. Your dogs will then do the same, and a wonderful master/worker relationship will begin.

Just follow your dog’s lead and you, too, can say “Life is good.”

Let me know what you think about my Manifesto. And what YOUR dogs think, too.

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