As you know, I am an esteemed dog-author, and I have strong opinions.
My mission, which I accept, is to help raise humans to the level of dogs. It’s very difficult since humans are slow learners, but I don’t give up.
My books show how I work with my translator, Laoorel, to keep her from becoming just another boring human. I strive to enlighten her through stories, just like all great teachers and leaders have done through history. Plato. Plutarch. Perdita.
She, and you, can learn from reading about Par, Mar, and all my lustrious relatives.
So, we can agree that what I teach is priceless wisdom. The wisdom of the ages. Passed down through generations of very wise Noodles and highly-active Whacks. Priceless!
That’s why I am can NOT understand why my human scribe has agreed to make my second masterpiece, The World According to Perdita Whacknoodle: the Flying Watermelon of Doom, FREE today.
It is such a brilliant book! I ask you–how can it be FREE? How can learning about Par Whack and Mar Noodle, and Cousin Speedo be FREE? How can my fabulous description of Par’s artistic contribution to the 4th of July concert be FREE?
What on earth is my scribe thinking? This book is so valuable that we should RAISE the price–but he has colluded with Amazon.com to make if FREE.
Of all things!
Oh, well. There is nothing I can do about it. If you want to be enlightend, enwisdomed, resmarted, hypereducated, ultra-amused, happified, AND pick up some secret dog wisdom–FREE!–you can get this wonderful book of mine today only. FREE.
My scribe says humans are on vacation now-and they’ll want some reading to educate their children and keep them happy.
Well, my book will do that! For some reason, humans think my wisdom is funny, which I do NOT understand. And I am STILL bewildered that all my work, the wisdom of the ages collected in one fantastic book, is FREE.
But . . . it is.
Just remember: all this FREE Whacknoodle enlightenment ends tonight, July 7, at the stroke of midnight!
Want my book? Click here and scarf it right up!